The Japanese are different!

Today I’m thinking of the various ways that the Japanese are different from “Americans”. Obviously, I’m generalizing on both sides but some things seem to hold up pretty well to scrutiny. For example, the Japanese women, across the board, look a whole lot younger and prettier than we do! I know that I’m not really a good example of a 60 year old American, letting my hair go naturally gray, since few people do that anywhere in the industrialized world, but here I am repeatedly asked my age, something the Japanese do to everyone regardless or gender or age, and with wonder some black-haired modern version of a slightly aging Geisha will say: “Oh we’re the same age!” I think it’s supposed to be a friendly thing to say, but I have to share that I’m usually totally taken aback! To look at them I would have guessed 50 at most, and well preserved at that. As a gaigin I always feel a bit big and clumsy here, but as these occurrences add up, I realize I must look like I’m 80 to the Japanese! How is it that all these women look so good? I’ve talked to a few others students here who say the same thing. If you think the Asian women you are talking to is sort of young to be out of school, she’s probably 25 or 30 years old!

Today I went with a fellow student to the house of a Japanese family for the purpose of participating in their informal English club, a monthly occurrence where a few friends get together to practice their English. I was invited to join the group, as Arturo is about to return to his country, Mexico, and was looking for people to help out. Today it was just he and I, though I’m told there are other “English speakers” who come from time to time. Actually, I’m the only native speaker in the group at the moment.

While we were waiting for every one to get there, the conversation was mostly in Japanese and I only understood part of it, but the hostess was talking to someone who I took to be her daughter. She looked to be about 14 or 15, with short a pixy-like haircut, and was generally tiny, probably a size 0. A little later when everyone was there, we were doing introductions all around the table and this young lady, who spoke English pretty well, turned out to be the mother of three children, ages 10, 8, and 4. She met her husband in Australia where they were both working as tour guides for Japanese tours to that country. She claimed to be lazy because she only had a part-time job, working three days a week, plus she has just taken on teaching swimming to children several times a week!

Next, the “middle aged”, perfectly appointed lady to my right told me she was 60 and only worked part-time at Mitsubishi Motors. Her hobbies were growing vegetables and traveling. When I introduced myself, they seemed surprised that I’ve come here to learn Japanese at my age! The aikido and kayaking surprise them as well. Not that I’m really old by Japanese standards. The oldest person in Okazaki is 104 years old. Next Monday is the Day for Honoring the Elderly and that usually means people over 75, I am told.

Not only do the Japanese look younger, and live longer than we do, they are also “genki”. This means fit, energetic, and lively, and also healthy. You see people who are clearly past retirement age, riding around on their bicycles, or zipping by on motor scooters. They go to the grocery store every day and carry their bags home themselves, they dance for hours in matsuris (festivals) and who knows what else to stay so fit, plus they eat a lot less than we do, and a much better diet, although junk food is making big inroads in Japan. Yuck.

While I am generalizing a bit, I might as well say that in addition to be so very polite, which “everyone knows”, they are also very generous. Gift giving is a big part of social exchanges here, but it isn’t always formal and planned. Today the hostess of this gathering gave me a lovely little gift of paper figures, and later as an after thought gave me a book she had in English about the cherry blossom festival of Washington to DC. (The cherry trees were a gift from Japan back at the turn of the 19th century). She also gave me some little samples of Japanese calligraphy, and two free tickets to an ikebana show in Nagoya next week!

Well, this didn’t get posted when it was written, but I’ll post it any way. I hope to get a report on my first tea ceremony soon!