The Japanese are different!

Today I’m thinking of the various ways that the Japanese are different from “Americans”. Obviously, I’m generalizing on both sides but some things seem to hold up pretty well to scrutiny. For example, the Japanese women, across the board, look a whole lot younger and prettier than we do! I know that I’m not really a good example of a 60 year old American, letting my hair go naturally gray, since few people do that anywhere in the industrialized world, but here I am repeatedly asked my age, something the Japanese do to everyone regardless or gender or age, and with wonder some black-haired modern version of a slightly aging Geisha will say: “Oh we’re the same age!” I think it’s supposed to be a friendly thing to say, but I have to share that I’m usually totally taken aback! To look at them I would have guessed 50 at most, and well preserved at that. As a gaigin I always feel a bit big and clumsy here, but as these occurrences add up, I realize I must look like I’m 80 to the Japanese! How is it that all these women look so good? I’ve talked to a few others students here who say the same thing. If you think the Asian women you are talking to is sort of young to be out of school, she’s probably 25 or 30 years old!

Today I went with a fellow student to the house of a Japanese family for the purpose of participating in their informal English club, a monthly occurrence where a few friends get together to practice their English. I was invited to join the group, as Arturo is about to return to his country, Mexico, and was looking for people to help out. Today it was just he and I, though I’m told there are other “English speakers” who come from time to time. Actually, I’m the only native speaker in the group at the moment.

While we were waiting for every one to get there, the conversation was mostly in Japanese and I only understood part of it, but the hostess was talking to someone who I took to be her daughter. She looked to be about 14 or 15, with short a pixy-like haircut, and was generally tiny, probably a size 0. A little later when everyone was there, we were doing introductions all around the table and this young lady, who spoke English pretty well, turned out to be the mother of three children, ages 10, 8, and 4. She met her husband in Australia where they were both working as tour guides for Japanese tours to that country. She claimed to be lazy because she only had a part-time job, working three days a week, plus she has just taken on teaching swimming to children several times a week!

Next, the “middle aged”, perfectly appointed lady to my right told me she was 60 and only worked part-time at Mitsubishi Motors. Her hobbies were growing vegetables and traveling. When I introduced myself, they seemed surprised that I’ve come here to learn Japanese at my age! The aikido and kayaking surprise them as well. Not that I’m really old by Japanese standards. The oldest person in Okazaki is 104 years old. Next Monday is the Day for Honoring the Elderly and that usually means people over 75, I am told.

Not only do the Japanese look younger, and live longer than we do, they are also “genki”. This means fit, energetic, and lively, and also healthy. You see people who are clearly past retirement age, riding around on their bicycles, or zipping by on motor scooters. They go to the grocery store every day and carry their bags home themselves, they dance for hours in matsuris (festivals) and who knows what else to stay so fit, plus they eat a lot less than we do, and a much better diet, although junk food is making big inroads in Japan. Yuck.

While I am generalizing a bit, I might as well say that in addition to be so very polite, which “everyone knows”, they are also very generous. Gift giving is a big part of social exchanges here, but it isn’t always formal and planned. Today the hostess of this gathering gave me a lovely little gift of paper figures, and later as an after thought gave me a book she had in English about the cherry blossom festival of Washington to DC. (The cherry trees were a gift from Japan back at the turn of the 19th century). She also gave me some little samples of Japanese calligraphy, and two free tickets to an ikebana show in Nagoya next week!

Well, this didn’t get posted when it was written, but I’ll post it any way. I hope to get a report on my first tea ceremony soon!

The Onsen

I’ve gotten a little behind on the blog as my course work is really picking up, as in getting much more demanding and “outside activities” are taking up time as well. The last couple of weeks have been packed with new experiences. It started on Friday, a week ago, when classes were canceled due to the torrential rains that hit Aichi Ken, the state where I am living. Okazaki was particularly hard hit. Flooding made travel impossible, trains stopped running, houses were swept off their foundations by the over flowing rivers and streams.


Friday afternoon a classmate Skyped me, did I want to go to an onsen? Onsen is Japanese for hot springs/spa. Although I knew they were everywhere I was surprised to learn that there was one right down the road and we could just walk there or take our bikes. We took our bikes. All I really knew about onsens is written above, so I was curious and nervous. Catherine said we didn’t need to bring anything but the 600 yen it would cost. This was almost true. We found it without trouble just off the main road. It was big and there were lots of cars (and a few bikes) in the parking lot. I guess others had had the same idea, no school or work, go for a soak. We took off our shoes at the entrance and put them in a locker. Unlike the lockers in the izakaya, Japanese pub that I went to last week where the shoe/bag lockers had these interesting wooden keys, these little lockers required a 100 yen coin to lock but when you returned and unlocked them to take your shoes the coin was returned to you. We then bought a ticket for 650 yen (less then $6.50) from the ticket vending machines, similar to the ones that sell train tickets at the station, which we gave to the attendant at the reception desk and passed into the bathing area of the facility. Here you have to make sure your Japanese is good enough to distinguish between the women’s entrance and the men’s, or you could be in for a bit of surprise. These entrances were side by side, as the men have a separate, adjacent, and from the brochure it appears, almost identical section. There was not a word of English to be seen. Thank goodness Catherine, who speaks Chinese, is really good at deciphering kanji. I was very relieved to be with her in this culturally and linguistically distant galaxy.

Almost immediately after entering the women’s “locker room” we realized we had were not going to be supplied with a towel and we hadn’t brought our own, so we back tracked to the desk and asked for a “taoru”. We were given (for another 150 yen, not to be returned), a cute little plastic shopping bag containing one large towel and one smaller one. These were to be returned to the desk when we left. We returned to the locker room, found a locker that, like the shoe lockers, required a 100-yen coin that would also be returned by the lock when we put the key in and opened the door. Here we left all our clothes and our modesty and proceeded into the washing area of the onsen. The next step of the process is to get perfectly and completely clean. We hadn’t brought soap or shampoo but these were supplied at each washing station. Each washing stall had a plastic stool in from of a mirror, a faucet, and a hand held shower sprayer thing like the one in my own bathroom here. There was also a plastic basin used to pour water over yourself. I took my cues from Catherine, who had done this before, and the other ladies I could see behind me. I sat on the stool and soaped up and scrubbed myself as best I could, and rinsed off well. It’s a very big faux pas to be either dirty or soapy going into the bath, whether in an onsen or at home. If you think you feel conspicuous being the only non-Asian person in the place, trying being the only non-Asian naked person! I had to work a bit at my cultural flexibility to get with the program and just act like I’m totally cool hanging out in “my birthday suit” with women of all ages. Actually there was one little boy of about 4 or 5, who seemed to be there with his grandmother.

For our bathing pleasure we had a variety of outdoor “pools” and tubs as well as indoor ones with Jacuzzi style jets. We eventually tried all the pools and tubs, even the cold one for cooling off. After about an hour I was hot and wrinkly enough, and ready to leave. I could tell that some of the Japanese ladies there were just settling in for the afternoon and would probably stay much longer than an hour. The bath and especially bathing in a hot spring is a very old and cherished tradition here. It’s not viewed as entertainment the way hot tubs are in America, but it’s definitely more than just getting clean. There’s a certain air of sacredness to it. People talk in quite tones and don’t ever splash or kick their feet. It is definitely something the Japanese are introduced to from very young. There were several very little children there with their mothers or grandmothers. And judging by appearances only, one is never too old to go to an onsen either. So despite my discomfort being naked, I was buoyed by the fact that I wasn’t the only old bag there! (There are no pictures allowed inside the onsen but the one above is of a sculpture outside the entrance. Frogs are very popular here.)